Pop it, Lock it, Polka-Dot it!

This weekend wasn't so bad.

Started off with an irritating little jolt on Friday, but then evened out. My mom flew in for the weekend. She thought it was funny that I had really gotten into those goofy flower pens she taught me how to make. I kind of got obsessive about them. There's like four million of them, all different flowers, all over the house and I've gotten really detailed with them so that they really look like real flowers.

Then I went and took like 20 to work hoping to sell them for a couple of dollars because I'm on my own working part time and paying for everything myself, still unable to complete a full week....but anyway everyone liked them and I didn't ask for money I just gave them away.

I felt bad but I was too bashful to ask. Even the ladies said I should charge for them and I said maybe I would take donations . How pitiful. At the time I wanted to make them all happy by just giving them away and then when I came home empty handed my mom was a little bit disappointed.

I just like being nice like that, and the flowers helped me feel better to make, they were so beautiful that I just wanted to share them.

Not really the smartest thing to do though, I agree since I'm on a budget with a negative deficit.

I am so tired of people at work noticing and asking why Melanie and I aren't talking. Why don't you go ask Melanie? She's the one acting like a jerk. I didn't do anything to her. I took a valium before I went the other day so that I wouldn't snap at someone. It's that bad. We were once called "the twins" because we looked alike, acted alike, and did everything together. Well not anymore.

I'm not even interested in being friends with someone who would dump me that way anyway.

I did something else healthy last week. I got angry with someone who has been taking advantage of me. I *really* got angry. The kind of angry where your blood gets hot and you realize at that moment that you never want to see their face again.
For reals.

It was healthy for me to get angry because I meant it this time and I am not going to let this person hurt me any more. I informed them I would not take their phone calls or even read any email responses. And basically F Off.

I don't want him to have bad luck in life, I hope he gets everything he wants and is eternally happy and I hope he F's Off and never talks to me again. It's also interesting, he's all bent out of shape because someone in his past treated him badly, but has no problem treating other people parallel to that.

I would normally feel bad about telling someone that, but this time it was necessary, long over due and felt awesome. Huge milestone in my recovery. Not just severing that tie, but the beginning of severing all that either enable me to behave in unhealthy ways or bring me down.

In other embarrassing news, I saw Hannah Montana this weekend with my mom and kids and to take it one step further the movie made me cry twice.

Yep. Sure did.

I also cried on the Little Mermaid when her dad gave her legs again. And I also could have sank the Titanic with the tears that movie brought on.

I wonder if I'm too sensitive. Is it something to be embarrassed about or is it something that is a positive addition to character?

The heart on the sleeve breaks so much easier, yet is already extended for those who appear to want to put it together again.

Better to hide it away, or keep reaching? Obviously, keeping it out for the wolves is very risky.

I guess it's just a matter of staying out of the woods at night where the wolves are. The sun is so much warmer anyway.

Oh, we also bought the soundtrack to the movie and I'm learning to do the Hoedown Throwdown. If you're nice I might youtube it and link you. If you're nice.

I can pop it, lock it and polka-dot it all the way to the jump to the left, stick it and glide, but I get lost after shuffle in diagonal. I really need a hobby. Hey, it keeps my heart beating and that's saying something right now. :)