The last two or three days have been a struggle. I can't put my finger on it, but I definitely have backslid a bit. Took adderall for the first time in months so I could speed around and get my house packed. Instead I hyperfocused on everything that bothers me. David went on this cruise suddenly and I was lonely but when he contacted me yesterday he said things I didn't really like and I burst into tears but it wasn't something that would normally bother me, or was it? It killed my mood then I went to work and he had already called Joseph to warn him that I was upset and to make sure I don't take it out on myself. Which then forced me to have to go get dinner because I was being watched now. I wasn't going to, not as an act of defiance, I just wasn't hungry. It had been two days since I'd eaten anything substantial.
Just kinda feels like a fog lately. Ill find the lighthouse beam, I'm sure and I know there are days like this.
Today, hopefully, will be different.
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