I was on the employee bus riding into work and the flight attendants were all admiring another flight attendant's super uber anti Swine Flu mask. I was sitting there thinking, ha ha ha, you all look like dorks.
Oh, I know, I just made about 200 flight attendants that read this mad. Okay maybe like four. But really, I'm sorry, that crap isnt becoming on anyone. I'm not convinced with this Swine Flu beeswax. More people die from the real flu than the Swine Flu. In fact I'm pretty sure more people die from being an a-hole than from any kind of flu so maybe we should have some kind of anti a-hole serum and the world would be okie dokie.
And before the two flight attendants that are still reading this shake up my soda can before I pilfer it off the plane, I'd like to point out that yes, I am aware your dorky masks are for your own safety. I'm glad you're safe. And to the snotty showoff on the employee bus, I'm glad that you're less likely to die of swine flu than your friends. Stop rubbing it in because since I don't do your job, I'm less likely to die of that than you. HA!! See? Some of that serum right now would have knocked the jerk right out of me.
I'm sorry, I guess I am being a little punchy. I have no idea what time it is, it might be after two or something. I can't sleep again.
So this morning after the mask fashion show, I went into work on the International side, and noted that I was working Cozumel. Booked to 29. HAHAHA. CAKE!! No one wants to go to Mee hee coo this week. Flight left at 940. Clock in at 800. Sit around and do nothing til 835 til MollyPoo and I decide we want coffee. I'm due on the gate in 5 minutes. We're booked to 29, for pete's sake. I go to my gate partner and ask her if she wants me to buy her coffee. She accepts bribe and it is unspoken that I am going to be screwing around for another five minutes or so.
On the way to the 'Bucks I am commenting to Molly that I really have to stop being so slacky. I mean really. I really really slack off alot. A lot. Pretty soon Joseph is gonna have to yell at me because he takes crap for spoiling me. Crap. Okay. I will not screw around as much I promise.
We notice the line at Starbucks is really long. Gate partner's coffee is like five bucks, that's worth it right? She'll be okay. We wait in the line and fill the time with jokes about how poor we are and howcome it is not cool to carry a Harrod's bag in London because you'll look like a stupid American. You carry it here, and people are like OOOO Harrods!! Harrods, where jeans are like 800 GBP. Which translates roughly to approximately forty million USD. Or something. Whatever.
All I am saying is that when I go to the currency exchange I'm always disappointed. I guess it's cuz their money is prettier and they have classy accents.
Anyway, after realizing we are next and also that the guy in front of us is actually British and we just confirmed the fact that we are obnoxious Americans, and laughing about it, it is our turn.
Molly wants a tall coffee. I order a Cinnamon Dolce Latte for me and my coworker. Starbucks dude says they're out of coffee.
WWWWHHHhhhHHHAAaatTTTTT????????
That's what she said.
Ha ha, no really, Molly says wwwhhhhhAaAAaAAAAAAHHHTT and her voice like jumps an octave or whatever and it sounds like a screech and it's really fun to imitate. She also has a parrot at her dad's house that would listen to her parents yell and it would go WWWHhHhHHaaAaTttTT?????
SO she does her screechy WwwWHwhHhhHAtTT??? and calls Starbucks flippin retarded and I order her a Cinnamon Dolce and she is happy.
Only now the response to every question all day is "WWwHHhhAAAAAaAAaAATt?" even at the gate.
After the flight, I was tied to the company computer, where I had to do computer based learning crap that I had put off for like a year or something, but Molly had all the answers so I wouldnt have to think . It was still a pain in the Aword though. Why do I have to do an excercise on giving away a free ticket when we aren't giving them away anymore in July anyway? WWHHahaAHAhAHAAHAHHATTTT?????
Then, in September after 3242 gate agents get b*tchslapped, DOT gets 23003032432 complaints, and they realize that was a bad idea, I have to be retrained on them again.
WHHahAHAHahAHAHHAAATtTTT??
I do not have time for all of that drama.
Hmm what else, Oh!! I got a super sweet new house to live in right off of Mt. Island Lake.
It has four bedrooms and a hot tub. I'm uber super duper uber happy.
That's alot. That's not my truck although it probably works better than the BarbieCar right now. I am going to need a new car, and I am pouting because I don't think I am going to be able to get another convertible. Maybe. Molly found me a black one we're going to go look at.
WWHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAAATT????
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